Nice Guy: Why do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?

Why do nice guys always finish last? This is an age old question on the lips and minds of men. You would be forgiven for thinking that if you treat a woman 'nicely' then she should fall for you, right? However, speak to any (nice) guy and he will tell you otherwise.

A good point to start off would be to analyse human evolution and go back to the 'primitive caveman'. If one analyses early civilisation it was apparent that the men who were the strongest or the most physically able lead the groups. Survival was the only goal i.e. food. In order to be the 'good hunter', the man needed to be fearless, assertive and confident. These 'character traits' gave him the edge over the other men. It is through these traits that he becomes the leader and the one looked up to.

Through our DNA, it is almost subconsciously that our minds have accepted and given higher value to these traits. Through the passage of time it is as if they have been passed down from our fore-mothers to us. Therefore, when we look at that 'nice guy' these traits are not present. In fact it is rather he doesn't offer it to us.
 
 The Modern Era
Why do Nice Guys Always Come Last?Flash forward to now. Some women may not even realise this but they like challenges. The problem 'Mr. Nice' comes to them with is that he is already squeaky clean (or at least appears to be). There is nothing for women to do. Whereas the 'bad boy' comes with a prospective challenge. He is 'bad' and we make it on us that we will change him. Get him to discover the wonders of life.
Another factor which further worsens the problem for Mr. Nice is that he creates an atmosphere that is uncomfortable. Even the most nicest people get angry, frustrated or even swear. When you are around a person who is always nice, it feels too artificial. It is as if you both are putting up an act. An act that can only be held for a certain amount of time. After which a level of discomfort creeps in.
 
Lack of confidence – A woman likes a man that possesses confidence. Human beings as a whole, we appreciate this quality. A person who is able to make decisions, has strong viewpoints or can carry himself well shows that he is confident. Where as if a nice guy always nods and agrees with everything a woman says then this gives the impression that he doesn't hold anything strongly enough to protect. He gives in too easily. See, women have a much deeper and more complex viewpoint when it comes to relationships. They see the wider picture. I mean when a woman introduces you to her friends she is analysing how you are perceived. If you don't make a good impression it makes her look bad. Where as, a confident guy who is able to hold a conversation and attract attention from her friends affirms her position and justifies that she has made the right choice.
A nice guy is sometimes a bit too boring. He always pays for the bill. He remembers your birthday. Everything is almost automated. Unfortunately, a part of human nature is that we get bored of repetition. Our brains become passive and there is nothing to excite us. Compare this to a 'bad boy'. He is spontaneous. He'll do or say things out of the blue. This keeps women on their toes. They are constantly guessing. Though they may not even realise this but he is making them work hard.
 
All is not Lost… Trust Me

I don't want to promote the idea that being nasty or mean to women is the only way to attract them. Instead, what I am trying to emphasise is that a man should have confidence. He should have his own perspective and ideas. Sometimes to disagree with your partner is a good thing. It creates an opportunity for you both to have a much broader vision.

Communicate effectively. This applies even when you go to a job interview. Do you know that only around 8% of communication is verbal. When you walk into a room, make sure your posture is straight. Don't slouch. When you talk, don't rush. Take pauses between sentences. Hold eye contact. All these qualities will not only make you attractive towards women but will elevate your status even to people around you. Furthermore, what I would say to guys is that don't just look at a woman's beauty. Look beyond that. So many guys tell me the more attractive a woman is the harder it is to talk to them or even approach them. Trust me, like men, beautiful women also have insecurities. But when a guy makes a woman feel comfortable then she is much more likely to open up to him.

Why should it be your job to please her? Let her please you. An attractive woman is bored to death by so many guys telling her how beautiful or hot she is. It is almost programmed into her subconscious mind. So when you go up to her and tell her how beautiful she is. You are simply a nameless face amongst many others saying the same thing. Instead, challenge her (I don't mean in a nasty way). When you challenge her, this creates curiosity in her mind. She finally meets a guy who is different. This person is actually looking beyond her looks. Now she wants to know more. She becomes the one asking the questions.

 

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